To Grit with Grace, Episode 3 — Leslie Montanile: True Love, Lust, and Lies
RANDY: Who do you trust? The older we get, the more is at stake, and the harder trust is to come by. My guest this month, divorce lawyer and newly minted author Leslie Montanile, got burned by one kind of trust: that which she invested in her business partner, Jeff. Leslie was saved by another kind of trust: that which she invested in her husband, Joe.
Leslie just published her memoir, “The Cult of the Black Card: A Divorce Lawyer’s Tale of True Love, Lust, and Lies. It contains a much more in-depth version of the Jeff saga, in addition to Leslie’s tumultuous path through romance, the legal world, family dynamics, and more. I’ve read it, and I’m pleased to say that I, the Russian judge, loved it. Look for Leslie’s book on Amazon, or wherever else you buy your books.
LESLIE: I am the divorce lawyer who believes in love.
What drew me to divorce was that I liked to see people on the upside of life. I have really a lot of faith in humanity, and instead of seeing hatred, I wanted to see love. I think it’s in everybody, if you can get them past the hurt.
My law career began when I started law school in 1989, where I met the man who became my first partner in law, Jeff. He was older — maybe by about seven years — and he had already been successful in a former career. He was a pilot. I liked that he was at school to be serious. I felt that he was a good person, and he was a good friend to me. You don’t make a lot of friends in law school.
My husband and I purchased a lake house in 1999 in upstate New York. Jeff came and did the closing for us, and said he was looking for an assistant, but that he would much rather have a partner. I had promised him in law school that, one day, we would work together. That got me thinking that this could be an opening for me, a career path for me, where I could be in control of my own destiny.
So, I met with Jeff in the fall. I looked at what was on his shelves. I found that he was representing a variety of clients, including a union which included numerous matrimonial matters.
I said, “Okay, I’m in.” Just like that.
We were partners right off the bat, and I really, really enjoyed what I was doing: helping both men and women at the time separate with the most dignity they could possibly have. Hopefully, everyone would come out somewhat unhappy, but unscathed.
Jeff’s personality — when we closed on our lake house, for example, he was flying down to Florida to pick up a Ferrari. I felt he had been successful, and he was enjoying the fruits of his labors. Never did I see that that was for appearances’ sake — the big house, the multiple cars, the multiple vacations, traveling, and this and that. I just thought, wow, if he could be that successful, if I work hard enough, I could have that too.
Everything seems to be going along smoothly, and about four days before 9/11 in 2001, Joe and I find out that we’re pregnant with Alex.
Joe and I met in April 1997, we were engaged in July, and we were married in August. Our commitment to each other, our marriage, and what was coming was never in doubt.
And then, 9/11 happens. Joe had been down at 9/11. His office at the time, where he was a partner in a very prestigious personal injury firm, was in the Woolworth building. I put this little bug in his ear, and I said, “Well, we’re gonna have a child now, and nobody really knows the future, maybe you wanna consider being a partner with me.”
I became a business partner to my husband. He had his practice, and I had my practice with Jeff. Our approach to Jeff was, we can be bigger under one name, and what Joe could bring to the table with his reputation from New York City could enhance the practice overall. It was pretty evident that Jeff had a lot of outside interests, which, as long as it didn’t impact the firm, we were okay with. I didn’t feel that he was doing anything that impacted the three of us.
2006, 2007 go by, all things seem to be going great, and then 2008 comes, and the economy crashes.
Matrimonies were not as impacted as other areas of the law. My practice kept going. Joe’s business was still moving on. However, we had a third partner who was not really bringing in money, and was always out of the office.
In 2008 or early 2009, we came to know that Jeff was under investigation by the grievance committee, because someone filed a grievance against him. Which is not uncommon in law, if you’re practicing matrimony or any of those contentious areas, clients can often do that. They’re usually dismissed. So, we just kept on working.
In 2009, we had come into our office in Westchester, and there was a fax in the fax machine to Jeff from this client, how his business had been destroyed and ruined by him, and he was very very upset. Joe and I knew that the worst was yet to come.
On the day we learned that Jeff was disbarred, Joe received a phone call from one of his oldest friends and colleagues, someone he went to law school with, who had sent Joe so much work. He was a partner in one of those very prestigious firms that would turn away those big cases. He asked Joe if he was okay, if I was okay, if we were alright, and when Joe said yes, they had a conversation, and from that day forward in 2010, Joe never received another client from him.
Being disbarred is like being shunned from your community. You are excommunicated. You are cut off. So the partners, or the survivors, are left to deal with, “Well, what were they really doing? How didn’t they know he was up to this? Maybe they knew and they didn’t say.”
It was the end of 2010 when, all of a sudden, the lawsuits started to come. Former clients, a bank calling in a note, whatever it was, it put Joe and I really on our heels to have to stand up and show these people that we weren’t the person that was disbarred, and that our word was good, as it always had been good.
I came from a background where I was given all these opportunities. “Can’t” wasn’t in my vocabulary. “Won’t” wasn’t in my vocabulary. If I thought I could do it, I did it. I looked at my husband, and said, “There isn’t anything we can’t do together. If all we’re talking about is money, well, money we can make, so we’ll just work.”
I would probably get up at 4:30, 5:00 in the morning for two years straight. Alex didn’t know what was going on with Jeff — putting a smile on for your kid at eight is one thing, but when they’re nine-and-a-half, turning ten, it’s not as easy. All day, I would spend working on clients, billing, helping Joe, building business, and then we would work after dinner on whatever lawsuits were pending. We made a lot of friends along the way who were very clear in telling us that Jeff was very happy to throw us under the bus.
As 2012 rolled around, things just started to click. We settled with this one, we settled that one (we kept one bank account just for the lawsuits). We found new forwarders for business, and cases came in. Divorce is always around — I hate to say it, but there’s always somebody who’s unhappy in marriage. So, somewhere in late 2012 there was a turning point, but it’s probably only in the past year that I’ve started to relax on the weekends.
Much like the day I met Joe, together, we were an unstoppable force. We had the kind of commitment that people think is only in fairy tales. And it doesn’t mean we agree all the time, because we don’t, but it does mean that we know how to pull each other up.
What I learned about humanity — people have sides you don’t know. But learning to keep the faith in humanity — I will say, mine was tested, but I still believe in the betterment of man.
And unfortunately it was a tragedy that propelled me to want to write my story down. One of my dearest, best friend’s sons was tragically killed on January 30, 2020. After that, I really understood what it meant that tomorrow is promised to no one. And if you have something to say, or to share, you have to do it.
I hope that people take away from the book that whatever is inside your heart, whatever your dreams are, that you can have them and make them happen, but you have to commit to them. And are you going to see the world with the glass full? I don’t like the half stuff, I don’t believe in that half-full thing. Are you gonna see your life full, and your opportunities full, or are you gonna let all those bumps in the road knock you off your path and make you quit before you even get there?
That little voice inside, there’s a reason it’s there. It’s gnawing at you because you know whatever it is that you’re feeling or thinking is real, it’s true, and the only one who has to care is you. Of course you want your loved ones to support you, it makes all the difference, but it’s your life.
So, my book is out, and we’ll see what happens. But that’s my story — in short.
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